North Korea, Best Korea!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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