Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize