oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize