are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
