yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Randomize
