new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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