So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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