I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
