Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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