I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
