party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
