my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
