Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
