Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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