so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
