dude i'm inner monologue high
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
