So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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