dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
