did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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