Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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