2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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