apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
