Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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