Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
