ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
