therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please, let me fuck your mom
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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