JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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