My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
