i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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