Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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