did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm jealous of your bromance
I smell stomach acid.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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