It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
