The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
