I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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