Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How naked do you want me to be?
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