you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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