this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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