Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
