Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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