I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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