no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
