They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
