I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
