He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
