I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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