it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
