Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
