It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
