I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
