Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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