I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize