I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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