Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
cat food counts as protein by the way
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
