I'm jealous of your bromance
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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