ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
