tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
