remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
