it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
