I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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