just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
