I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
