Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
