No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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