I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
