I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize