I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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