apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
