this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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