hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
