I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
