What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
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Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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