i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
